Giving it my best

I wish that I was lying on a hammock, somewhere blissful and beautiful. With nothing on my mind but total peace, tranquillity and serenity. Sipping some sweet cocktail. The birds in the air singing to me, while I softly rock myself. Counting my blessing and marvelling at God’s creation and beauty.....admiring the blue skies while the sun rays gently burn my skin.

Ohhh how I would love for that to get me out of this tiredness. It’s too early in the day for me to be feeling like this and I haven’t even written down my to do list for the day. While change is inevitable adapting to new things takes a while and to move one’s state of mind from one level to the other can be quite strenuous .......explains the headaches. Taking each of life’s moment in a positive way has and is my guiding principle but sometimes trying to stick to the guiding principle can be as hard as not having any.

A good steward is one who takes challenges as opportunities. Who when they are given something like the parable in the bible goes forth to multiple it and not bury it in some hole just to present the same same gift back to their master.

The Bible says, “Is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete” (James 1:2–4 LB).

And with that I will put my holiday plans on hold for a little while and get ready to face the day with a bright smile. For at the end of it all, I need to be accountable.

Tempatations

Please take me home with you, ours will be a sweet relationship, a sweet romance like for the shoe and the shopper. You need me more than you would like to confess, i know you have been looking for something like this for a while now and today you found it. Your epiphany moment has finally come. I can finally be yours!

Never have i ever been tormented like i was yesterday evening. Shopping and window shopping is always a pleasure but trouble began when everything i seemed to set my eyes upon was the perfect size which could go into filling some hole in my wardrobe never mind the size of the hole.

From the perfect shoes, the perfect top not to mention right colour which would complement my skin colour to the perfect lingerie which would make me feel extremely sexy. That was a real test of self will, only thing that saved me i think was the bigger picture. Been saving for quite a while now and i didn’t think i wanted to let those 'big' temptation to come in the way of my item of desire and I.

I might have won the battle yesterday but the war still persists. What will i do when i walk into those stores a couple of days from now and find the same things waiting for me, my heart beats faster when i think about that. Will i keep fighting or should i surrender and say fate is bringing us together. We were just meant to be.

Pygmalion Effect

Pysching up for the greatest race

Am just about to hit the ground for my lunch time run. Its official now i have began training for the marathon.

My plan is to do the 21 km race in about 2 hours, i must say this looks quite ambitious for one who is not keen when it comes to running but nevertheless i have been exercising, swimming has been my kind of thing! But now i have a dream and in front of that dream is an obstacle that i must overcome.

Whats my game plan? at least try and run 3 times a week and constantly increase the mileage as the days go by. Ohh yes and of course eat a lot since i don't wish to loose an ounce of my hard earned kilos.

Time frame about 3 months!

Stick around and i will tell you the results come October and just for the records i don't plan to be one of those who will be waited for hours on end to reach the finish line!


......2 hours later - if that was anything to go by, the kiddies race would be ideal :). Ave got work to do

The Silver Has Been Polished!

Its been a month now since turning the big, let me hold it there the big O is still on its way (not that O i mean 30).

So after celebrating what I think was one of the best birthdays, it was time to do a checklist / inventory of me specifically health wise. One of my greatest fears is going to hospitals and a greater one is the site of needles and the other apparatus that one come’s face to face with and as such i have been a titan of procrastinating where that is concerned.

After much persuasion and pleading by my friend I made my debut visit to the dentist to get a filling on a cavity that has been developing since I was about 19! I think I gave the doctor such a hard time when I showed her one of my last tooth that never fully grew she wasn’t keen on giving a second appointed.

Second stop was the vct, it had been about two and half years since my last visit and don’t we know how harrowing that experience can be. The counseling session went on for longer than usual and am sitting opposite him wondering can he see through me, do I look suspicious or something am I giving ‘leading’ answers? Another funny thing this particular room was pretty small and I could see the control kits and how the blood was flowing. At one point I saw one line and smiled in my heart at another I saw two lines and wished that I had something to numb all my nerves. After an agonizing 45 minutes by which I had made such a list of dos and don’t s I couldn’t ask for a better miracle from the Lord than ‘YOU’RE RESULTS ARE NEGATIVE’.

Third stop was another debut visit. Much as there is lots of publicity about this type of test at times it really has to take a deep personal initiative and decision to do something. I went and did a pap smear test, had heard so much stories about the procedure and when I actually did I was like is this all? save for the drop the pants part which felt wierd, why all the fear! Am thankful to God again for some terrific results.

In as much as a blood test still awaits me coz of the fear of having blood been drawn from me!
I must acknowledge it’s been a somewhat challenging couple of weeks, but there isn’t a better way that I would have loved to mark the beginning of a new era in my life than by getting a really personal and intimate look at myself and my lifestyle. Now with all the knowledge and facts am at a better place when it comes to making some decisions of my life, the stakes are definitely higher. The silver has indeed been polished!.

Of writing from the heart

It's a Happy 1st Anniversary to thymoments.blogspot.com! and this comes with a some great lessons to me.

Since I started writing this blog. I have published articles only to delete them immediately after, or even after weeks or months of publication.

I have discovered that there is a great risk involved in writing things straight from the heart, driven by emotions and situations (particularly negative emotions and feelings) and having no one to edit them. Sometime what you write tends to rub some people you never intended to the wrong way, or it may just happen to be a misplaced written down thought. My initial strategy was to have an offline blog where I could pour it out as raw as it came, which seemed to work for a while but what happens when someone accidentally comes across such articles. Not to mention that there are things I have written and when I read them am like ehhh...... As for the online articles that I go back and delete that will only work for new readers but I know people who save and read the articles at their own time and so what I have deleted is actually not deleted in their records.

The greatest lesson I have learnt from this is not to write when am angry or when am full of lethal negative energy. In the past it used to be my way of letting it out which for a while seemed to work very well but I think am better off screaming it out in the field or apply some other outlet mechanism. Same case applies to replying sms when angered or emails because the danger in writing is that it leaves a permanent mark on the other end which you cannot erase.

Making headlines ....Some more great news!

I sit silently with my laptop before me, in the wee hours of the morning. Besides the bed lies a gift – beautifully wrapped in silver paper. Tomorrow is Father’s Day and as a token of my love and appreciation to the special man in my life. I will honor him with it. I carefully picked the gift, an antique clock from a store in town three weeks ago. (here the editor played around with my words)
As i type this piece, my mind wanders. I reflect on the different men in my life who truly deserve a standing ovation. This is not because of the gigantic things that they do, but the little acts of kindness done in love, for that is what really matters.

As a bachelorette who lives on her own, first I salute my taxi driver. He is like my guardian angel particularly on those long nights! He is the one that I trust more than anyone else to make sure that am home safely, many are the nights when his seat becomes a temporary sleeping zone as he drives me home and waits until am safely inside the compound to start off his engine and head his way. He is that special driver who cannot over bill me or take excess change in case my brain’s calculator switches off! He is also the one who doesn’t mind going to the nearest shop to send me airtime when I feel that I just can’t move an inch.

Secondly, the caretaker at home. The man who assists with all the heavy duty tasks around the house. He is the one who I quickly call when I buy something and need help in moving things around. He is the one who sorts my small house repairs and advices on how to nail it and screw it! He is the first person on my doorstep when he hears a scream only to find out that it’s a lizard terrorising me. And he is the one who handle all the excess and left over meals in my house as the guilt of throwing food away consumes me to the spine.

Then there is the watchman. Him I feel that I use him in a selfish way. He is the one to chase away all the unwanted intruders and the un-invited guests. However, he is the first person I see each and every morning as I leave the house and the last person I see when I enter the house save for the TV characters! His smile and salute gears me for the day ahead.

There is also the bus driver. The second man who I interact with in the formative hours of the morning. You’re cautious driving, discipline and the passion at which you do your work amazes me. You strive all you can to make sure that we arrive safely and in good time to work. The same is replicated in the evening.

To all the husbands out there, as Christ loved the church please do the same to your wives, lets not hear any more abuse in the name of taking care of the children, washing dishes, helping with house chores etc! Women are meant to be helpers and not slaves, so kindly quit the whinning and let everyone do their part to bringing up a happy home. We appreciate that you are the heads but appreciate even more when you lead with wisdom.

To all the fathers and men out there we appreciate the love, the support, the sacrifice and the many other things that you do for us. You are a pillar to our lives, a source of strength and we respect, love and appreciate you immensely.

Just like the eyes cannot survive on their own without the head and similarly the rest of the body parts. We are an eco-system and we need each other so much than we imagine. Men are truly a blessing to our lives and we honour this father’s day.

To all the sons and daughters join me in extending A Happy Father’s Day celebration to all the men out there!

counting down

It only a matter of hours now, the three months I had once talked about have come to pass. I will soon be celebrating my birthday, marking the beginning of another new year. It been quite a great year, a year of plenty of developments, a year of making mistakes but all in all one with plenty blessings.

I cannot count them all but some of the lessons that I pray (so help me God) to be carrying forth with me to new year include;

#1 – Never be too quick to judge. Sometimes the people you least expect are the ones who pull through for you.

#2 – If you don’t carry the experiences that you have learnt and put in them into practice then there isn’t any growth.

#3 – Life throws both sweet moment and thorny moments – I choose to embrace them all in a smile and a smile behind the tears.

#4 – I cannot make it on my own, as the famous saying goes ‘If you want to go fast go alone but if you want to go far go with others’

#5 – God’s timing is perfect. He is present in ALL situations.

#6 – In life you cannot afford to give up, and your situation is not unique. Everyone passes through trials and tribulations.

#7 – This is who I am. Either you like me as I am or you don’t I simply cannot change me for u.

#8 – Family comes first. I don’t tell them enough that I love them, but they were the first to wish me a happy one and send me presents.

#9 – There has to be a limit to everything. Never let people push you around, if you can’t do it a simple I would have love to but at the moment I am not in a place to do it will suffice.

#10 – Define the goals, let the expectations be well know in advance and leave nothing to chance else the non-beneficial blame game will use up a lot of your valuable energy and an inevitable failure stares at the face.

#11 – Life is about embracing changes.

#12 - To all my dear friends, i love and appreciate you all.

This simple note written in a 'hand' made card from my kid siz made me shed some tears

Dear Sister, We’ve been together for 17 years. You’ve nurtured me and taken care of me since I was small and you still keep a closer gaze on my teenage life. I love you and treasure you very much.

And i love you too!

Chase the dream and not the money

I couldn’t have a picked a better line than that from the Notorious BIG movie. I think once he internalised it things took a 3600 turn. He started dropping serious lines, reaching out to a wider audience and the rest is all in the movie.

True gratification comes from doing what you love, can you imagine the misery of working only to pay the bills and not enjoying every bit of it well i don’t mean literary everything well we all know being employed has its pains...what a nightmare it would be to wake up every morning!

A few weeks back I meet a lady who had resigned from her job and when I asked her where she was going I got a strange answer. She wasn’t sure, she had no placement yet. What drove her to resign? Boredom, tired of doing the same things over and over and over bottom line there wasn’t anymore fulfilment.

Chasing the dream leads one to a place of calling and instead of work becoming a money making adventure it becomes a place of mission. Somewhere where we feel we are bringing about positive impact to the society, to someone’s life irregardless of the magnitude. Life doesn’t offer free things, everything comes at a price and only those willing to pay the price, take the risk, dream and chase the dream will able to rip of its fruits. The world has abundance for each and every one of us, it’s only us who limit ourselves.

To summarise it, some words from Robin Sharma;
“Stay on purpose, not on outcome. In other words, do the task because it is what you love to do or because it will help someone or is a valuable exercise. Don't do it for the money or the recognition. Those will come naturally. This is the way of the world”.

Rekindling the fire

Am pretty much shocked at myself. I look at my blog with mixed feelings. Only one article last month from an average of 4-3 per month.

Where did the passion go to? Honestly, i think i did it to myself i entertained a lot of negative energy and thought on closing this blog to begin with. I somewhat thought that maybe the blog had fulfilled it mission in my life which i know think its a crazy and really misplaced thought. I thought that i was over sharing the nitty gritty details of my life with everyone. I also gave myself the excuse that am terribly busy nowadays. And also that since it almost a year i thought that perhaps i should let it die a natural death.

Perhaps some of it is true perhaps not. As i write this article am now realising that i had terribly missed writing articles for my blog. Its like embracing an old lover whose been away for months. There is some warmth in my heart that i can't explain.
My perhaps, perhaps, perhaps can be explained, am the kind of person who never likes having loose strings hanging. At times is not always possible to give a proper closure to everything but maybe if i gave this a proper one then my feelings would have definitely been different. So here is a toast to rekindling the fire, to thymoments!

Meaningful flings

I came a cross a very interesting article in my last month’s true love magazine, one that left me thinking the human race can never fail to get justification even for the things that you would normally consider absurd.

The article was talking about meaningful flings, these are relationships or should we say arrangements that are intense and romance less wrenching than a full-blown relationship and less degrading than a one-nighter. A rare hook up that you seriously connect with at a way deep level but pretty seasonal. On the other hand meaningless flings as its well put here are about scratching a persistent itch with little emotional involvement or gratification. Meaningful flings on the other hand are about sharing your dreams, your emotions, your drives and the whack but leaving out the word ‘forever’ in that scenario such that in the morning you can all wake and go your separate ways or decide to end the affair with no hard feelings from either quarters.
How i wonder how many of us can pull those off? Many at time the emotions get the better of us and before long we realise we are nursing an unanticipated heart ache.

There are numerous written and un-written explanations why one-nighters happen and now there is meaningful flings!! In this corrupt world i choose to call it that because there seem to be explanations even to the simple things that just sound morally wrong at least according to me, a guiding mantra for life comes in pretty handy.
Some mission statement that at the end of the day you can go and appraise yourself, something to clearly remind you what you really stand for, what is really important to you and what is not. A constitution, the solid expression of your vision and values, the criteria by which you measure everything else in your life. Because without that we can be sure that we will fall for so many ‘wha-evers’ in this world.

Steps to Un-Stuff Your Schedule and Increase Your Margin

Do you ever get to the end of your day and think, "Did I accomplish anything?"

Where does all the time go?

If you don't master your schedule, it will master you!

Here are three suggestions from the Bible for reducing the stress of your schedule and increasing the margin:

1. Line up your priorities. Obviously, you don't have time to do everything, so you must make choices. You must decide what's really important and what isn't. Take some time to consider the direction of your life. The Bible says, "An intelligent person aims at wise action, but a fool starts off in many directions" (Proverbs 17:24 GNT); "It is stupid to waste time on useless projects" (Proverbs 12:11, GNT); "We should make plans—counting on God to direct us" (Proverbs 16:9 LB).

2. Lighten up your attitude. Do you really have to do everything on your to-do list? No one is holding a gun to your head; a lot of your stress is self-imposed. The Bible says, "Worry weighs us down..." (Proverbs 12:25 MSG); "A relaxed attitude lengthens a man's life" (Proverbs 14:30 LB); "Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time" (Proverbs 17:22 GNT).

3. Look up to God. Stress is always a warning light that you've taken your focus off God and are looking at your problems from your limited viewpoint.

www.purposedrive.com

stealing the show

Can you imagine tripping over the public address system wires in the middle of the ceremony when the MC is making important announcements. Yea that was me on Saturday at a family friends wedding and boy wasnt i embarrassed.

Everything seemed to be going on well, the wedding was beautiful and it was almost time for the newly weds to start receiving gifts from family and friends. My sister and I hurriedly went and gave the couple our gift - obviously at the wrong time coz we wanted to greet her and leave before people started queuing for that and i was now taking her to say hi to some other people before we leave. I saw the wires and thought i had crossed over them just fine only to realise that that wasn't the case, first the MC's mic went dead then the 'mixer' not sure what its called the gadget that controls volume and other things came tumbling down from the table and then stares and other shocked sounds followed. I stood there fixed and confused for a moment, not knowing if i should continue walking or try and help fix the damage but one look at the DJ told me to stay where i was, he came round picked it and after a few minutes the mic was back on and we quickly dashed out of the venue without looking behind.

It seemed i have graduated from being the girl who catches the bridal bouquet to something else. I hope the small drama's that i cause at people's wedding don't haunt me on my own big day else it will be a wedding full of circus.

Many thanks!

Thank you dear blog for giving me a platform of expressing it, thank you friend for telling me that i have to up my game and stop reading 4 books in a year if at all am gonna up my writing skills (those last year words still echo in my mind!), thank you dear big sister for leading the way (i look up to you u know), thank you friends for alerting me and thank you God for keeping me going.

My article on matters affecting the family was published in the daily nation newspaper sometime in March (have your say column), well its not a GRAND article but its a great honor and a somewhat nice feeling as well to see your name in the press!!

Indeed nothing is impossible you only need to dream it to achieve and put some effort in it. Is this an indication of greater things to come? For sure i cannot tell but i hope so.....

I cried my last tears yesterday

Its a high time i put to practice what i wrote about in my last post! I have stopped struggling, pushing it, forcing it.... It aint easy but its something i need to do. Not overnight but gradually as the seeds had already been planted and uprooting them will take a while. it's only with the knowledge and experience of the healing power of time that i can be able to say that yes i will be fine.

The circles are too many, its like being at the stop sign and making turns that take me back to where i started from over and over and over or a boxing match with endless rounds.

I miss the glow and my genuine smile. No amount of facial masking and beauty 'therapyness' can bring back the glow as i have discovered that it comes from within. My eyes are puffy and always watery of late. The power of emotions, we call them hearty matters!

I cant be in both ends of the rope at the same time and seeing as i have pulled and stretched my end of the rope to its limit all i can do now is stop pulling.

I lived it and i loved it. The sun will rise and set and it musn't find me in the same state i was yesterday.