Love comes when you least exist it

For the couple of times that that I have been in love it has normally been happening in the strangest of ways, meeting someone that you absolutely never imagined you would and when you least expect. Well, much as those relationships due to one reason or another had to end they had been some real memorable moments and of course the moments of hurting and pain.

From my years of experience I can surely attest to the fact that love comes when you least expect it and it’s when am not out searching that's when it found me. I believe that to everyman there is a woman to all the people who are still seeking for love my word for the year and from the lessons gathered is to be patient so that one doesn’t have to settle for less, be the best that you can, give it all you can while you’re in it, above all commit your desires to the Lord so that He can really show you if that is where you should be and wait while He works in you. Forgive the ones that have hurt you and free them so that you can free, associate with people who have the same beliefs and faith so that you can speak in one language and encourage each other along the way.

'when you lose the feeling to love someone, move forward with the action of loving them and that will help you reclaim your feelings of love' Tom Holladay

Immersed in the Pool of Water: My Baptism

On Saturday 4th December I was baptized by immersion at Parkland Baptist Church where I have been fellowshipping for almost two and half years now. How did all this come to be? For a very long time I have been meaning to become a member of the church, this calls for attending membership classes. For the times when i have attended the service and every Sunday when I see the announcement for the membership classes I have always found reason for not attending. Where some of those reasons were valid, many are the ones that could have been avoided I was a victim of the procrastination, shamefully!

So this time round when I finally saw the announcement I knew my chance was here and now and I decided to go for the Thursday class. The classes run for 5 weeks and as part of being a member of the Baptist church one of the requirements was that one should be baptized by immersion, after the acceptance of Christ. After signing up for baptism and talking to my small sister she reminded me that I had been baptized by immersion years back when I was a teenage, can’t quite recall the exact age in Catholic church and this was after being baptized by sprinkling in the Anglican church when I was about 5 or 6 years, its only through the pictures that I was aware such an event happened!

After much thinking about it I decided that I still wanted to be baptized, yes for the 3rd time in my life. Why? Because this time I felt that the decision was being made by a fully grown woman. It was not a decision influenced by my parents, it’s a decision being influence by me, meaning that I am more responsible for it.
So as I walked to meet the deacon inside the cold water for the immersion and he held my hand, I felt like I was experiencing a new rebirth. God’s timing is perfect and that was my time and I felt peace and calmness in my heart.

“Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised through dead by the glory of the Father even so we also should walk in the newness of life.” Roman 6: 4 And the same was significant of my life and my sins and as I walked out of the water my prayer was that I will walk in the newness of Christ thanking Him for cleansing and washing my sins away.

I feel free, happy, healed and so proud for making that move, I am looking forward to being a member of the Church on Sunday the 12th. I am even happier of the friends that I have made because it creates some form of accountability to each other and my greatest prayer is that I may continue to obey God’s word and live a life that is pleasing to Him.

I wouldn’t have thought of a better way for marking the year 2010 than this!
For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. Romans 6:14

The Year of Prosperity

It is the beginning of another year, a time when we set the phase do a dummy or a skeleton on how we want to shape up things throughput the year. Firstly I totally feel blessed to be among the children of the universe this year and am very grateful to God for this blessing.

Last year I was riding on the theme the 'Year of Fulfillment' and looking back indeed I can say yes I was fulfilled of course there were hitches here and there, some events that left deep scars but what is life anyway without both sweet and sour moments! Diamonds are made under pressure and what is most important in life is to learn from our experiences, mistakes as well as successes and use those to become better people.

This year I am riding on the theme of Prosperity. Repeating what I said in my blog the year of fulfillment this is another feeling, an intuition that I can’t explain in depth.

As you sit there and read, my question to you is. What theme have you set for yourself? Its been said over and over again, stand for something or you will fall for anything.

distributing your risk

my musings.......

Been thinking about this for long, think its something that i need to do and am not doing. Can't really put a finger on it yet but am working to it.
The advantages of having many pairs of shoes is that you don't get to exhaust one thus increasing the lifespan of them all - across board, same to having many pairs of jeans and many handbags, this reminds me that i need to do some shopping.

On different note, investing in different things i.e. put a few thousands in the bank for the rainy day, invest others in the money market, work toward owning of some property, if the same principle of the shoes can be applied here then one is more secure.

Am not sure i can say the same about friends since those are bonds that one needs to cultivate and grow them......just something i needed to get out of of my mind.

Of writing from the heart

It's a Happy 1st Anniversary to thymoments.blogspot.com! and this comes with a some great lessons to me.

Since I started writing this blog. I have published articles only to delete them immediately after, or even after weeks or months of publication.

I have discovered that there is a great risk involved in writing things straight from the heart, driven by emotions and situations (particularly negative emotions and feelings) and having no one to edit them. Sometime what you write tends to rub some people you never intended to the wrong way, or it may just happen to be a misplaced written down thought. My initial strategy was to have an offline blog where I could pour it out as raw as it came, which seemed to work for a while but what happens when someone accidentally comes across such articles. Not to mention that there are things I have written and when I read them am like ehhh...... As for the online articles that I go back and delete that will only work for new readers but I know people who save and read the articles at their own time and so what I have deleted is actually not deleted in their records.

The greatest lesson I have learnt from this is not to write when am angry or when am full of lethal negative energy. In the past it used to be my way of letting it out which for a while seemed to work very well but I think am better off screaming it out in the field or apply some other outlet mechanism. Same case applies to replying sms when angered or emails because the danger in writing is that it leaves a permanent mark on the other end which you cannot erase.

Rekindling the fire

Am pretty much shocked at myself. I look at my blog with mixed feelings. Only one article last month from an average of 4-3 per month.

Where did the passion go to? Honestly, i think i did it to myself i entertained a lot of negative energy and thought on closing this blog to begin with. I somewhat thought that maybe the blog had fulfilled it mission in my life which i know think its a crazy and really misplaced thought. I thought that i was over sharing the nitty gritty details of my life with everyone. I also gave myself the excuse that am terribly busy nowadays. And also that since it almost a year i thought that perhaps i should let it die a natural death.

Perhaps some of it is true perhaps not. As i write this article am now realising that i had terribly missed writing articles for my blog. Its like embracing an old lover whose been away for months. There is some warmth in my heart that i can't explain.
My perhaps, perhaps, perhaps can be explained, am the kind of person who never likes having loose strings hanging. At times is not always possible to give a proper closure to everything but maybe if i gave this a proper one then my feelings would have definitely been different. So here is a toast to rekindling the fire, to thymoments!

I cried my last tears yesterday

Its a high time i put to practice what i wrote about in my last post! I have stopped struggling, pushing it, forcing it.... It aint easy but its something i need to do. Not overnight but gradually as the seeds had already been planted and uprooting them will take a while. it's only with the knowledge and experience of the healing power of time that i can be able to say that yes i will be fine.

The circles are too many, its like being at the stop sign and making turns that take me back to where i started from over and over and over or a boxing match with endless rounds.

I miss the glow and my genuine smile. No amount of facial masking and beauty 'therapyness' can bring back the glow as i have discovered that it comes from within. My eyes are puffy and always watery of late. The power of emotions, we call them hearty matters!

I cant be in both ends of the rope at the same time and seeing as i have pulled and stretched my end of the rope to its limit all i can do now is stop pulling.

I lived it and i loved it. The sun will rise and set and it musn't find me in the same state i was yesterday.

Dear Cupid

February and all its valentines performances and drama is here again! Aint sure the implications of that since not a single day passes without me receiving a getaway advertisement package for valentines in my mailbox, single and couple dinner invitations are cropping up in my calendar of events, hot parties going down in all the major raving spots and not to mention social work invitations that endeavor to bring a smile on someone’s face the list is endless.

Anyways am done wishing that I could curve out my own ideal man – the work of creation is for the Lord and not mine - so just for the records cupid when you decide to shine that star brightly on me and unveil my Adam at the apt time, beside the handsome, gorgeous, charming, ambitious, compatible, romantic........... etc etc etc man.

I want a man who will appreciate my love and love me back in a faithful way (an extremely monogamous man) the man whose missing rib and the one that am carrying will fit like a jig-saw puzzle - wishful thinking, i know!! someone who we will share a vision, over and above a God fearing man.
A little fyi please make sure we can enjoy each others co and partying, since boredom can just kill!

With luv
Kamama