From mean to upper limits

A couple of years back when I was a small girl, I couldn’t wait for the months and years to pass by for the day when June 16th would reach and I turn 13 (THIRTEEN)! Be teenage, I couldn’t wait for the years to fly by again and again for me to turn 16 yes sweet sixteen we used to call it and later on to finally turn 18, be an adult, get an ID rule the world……or so I thought. Now am not so sure what I feel about my imminent birthday in another 3 or so months. Maybe am scared of entering the phase that will mark the commencement of my late twenties years or perhaps that's the way it always is when one make’s that change from one age bracket to another like turning 21 or 31 (though i cant ever recall having such a feeling). Am not certain which direction the captain is going to steer the ship once it hits 26!!

Back when I was in primary I couldn’t wait for the day when I would go to high school and after that for the time I would join campus and thereafter for when I could start working and be independent. Now that am there I realise that the demands are greater than what I had ever imagine I was only after the golden eggs but now I need to also take care of the goose. I not only want to make it big and rich, I want a job that satisfies one where at the end of the day makes me feel good and one where I cant wait to be at the next day. This leaves with me with even bigger decisions like which direction to further my education and career, appreciating that we are all unique and successful in our own different ways. Its just not what everyone else is doing Is what makes true significance and adds value to an individuals life.

A couple of years back I couldn’t wait for the day when I would get my own place, regardless of the size and what was inside…all I cared about was being able to open my own place and have no one ask me where am from or why does it look so messed up and so on and so forth. Now I ask myself for how long will I keep paying rent, when will I get a place that I can call mine a real home and what do I need to do to get there. The 'old' and 'motherly' duties that I had neglected back at home I now have to embrace with a smile. The free spirit for disappearing from the house for many weekends has been tamed for now I have to be responsible for me.

I have become more aware of time I can feel it passing by day by day, good thing the swimming and the other small time exercises I do make me feel youthful, brisk, full of life, bouncy and all that. Procrastination is killing me now more than it had before. I need to fight the good battle, awaken the giant inside and work for a bright and better tomorrow.
Just as we grow older with the rising sun each and every morning self motivation and personal inspiration is a virtue that has to take a similar course. The changes in life are dynamic one day you feel like everything is going south and the next day you feel like things are advancing northwards. Everyone has a special way of dealing with life’s dynamism's, at times I refer to my mission statement, at times the inspiration books I read help me to forge on and at times I pour it out on my blog.

I pray and hope you have something that helps you to stay afloat, to redefine you north every so often because without that you'd be lost in this jungle.

Charismatic leader

To all the big and mighty blog fans out there i hope you find these 10 qualities of a charismatic leader by Robin Sharma insightful (no.8 has really done it for Obama if the below video is anything to go by)

• Be committed to what you are doing
• Look like a winner and act like one
• Have big dreams, a vision and reach for the sky
• Steadily advance in the direction of your goals
• Prepare and work hard at every task you do
• Build a mystique around yourself
• Be interested in others and show kindness
• Have a strong sense of humour
• Be known for the strength of your character
• Have grace under pressure. (John F. Kennedy said that "the elusive half-step between middle management and true leadership is grace under pressure.")

I hardly do politics in my blog but i think my children might one day enjoy this president Barack history in the making moment!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsWpvkLCvu4&feature=channel

Dear Cupid

February and all its valentines performances and drama is here again! Aint sure the implications of that since not a single day passes without me receiving a getaway advertisement package for valentines in my mailbox, single and couple dinner invitations are cropping up in my calendar of events, hot parties going down in all the major raving spots and not to mention social work invitations that endeavor to bring a smile on someone’s face the list is endless.

Anyways am done wishing that I could curve out my own ideal man – the work of creation is for the Lord and not mine - so just for the records cupid when you decide to shine that star brightly on me and unveil my Adam at the apt time, beside the handsome, gorgeous, charming, ambitious, compatible, romantic........... etc etc etc man.

I want a man who will appreciate my love and love me back in a faithful way (an extremely monogamous man) the man whose missing rib and the one that am carrying will fit like a jig-saw puzzle - wishful thinking, i know!! someone who we will share a vision, over and above a God fearing man.
A little fyi please make sure we can enjoy each others co and partying, since boredom can just kill!

With luv
Kamama

The stranger, the envelop and I

It’s a nice Sunday afternoon am walking in town with my handbag on one arm, food bag on the other arm clutching to my mum’s calendar as I try to hurriedly make it to the stage to pick a bus and go meet my family at my sister school for her visiting.
And an unexpected event just happens, the man walking ahead of me drops an envelop and the man walking besides me swiftly picks it, he apparently makes an effort to call the man but as he’s bit far and too preoccupied by his fast bounce he clearly doesn’t take note of what just happened and he walks on.

My walking mate lets call him Mr.Q turns the envelop the other side and walla money peeps through the clear address portion of the envelop, there is a small note attached to it and he opens it while I the avid spectator looks on in total dismay. The note is clear, it allocates money from different towns in the country and I figure it must some collection from a bus or matatu fleet perhaps being taken to the owner.
The two strangers - Mr.Q and I - who have ‘struck gold’ in this lovely day keep on walking and Mr.Q says its 40,000!! he does some quick math and he says the he will keep 25,000 since he is the one who picked the money and he will give me 15,000 since I was a witness in the whole saga……my hearts skips a bit and there is sheepish smile that I hastily hide am wondering haa is this my lucky day or what 15,000 I didn’t even think there was going to be any splitting here!

The 'gold strikers' keep on walking not looking behind least we look suspicious, we make some small talk I say am going to kencom and l learn that he is going to commercial, Mr.Q asks how and where we are going to do the split and am like that’s easy lets just enter the nearest coffee house do our thing and head our separate way, Mr.Q starts acting jittering he’s like no lets go somewhere that isn’t so crowded since that’s a lot of money and we don’t want to raise suspicion, that reasoning doesn’t make a lot of sense but I agree. There some public toilets right ahead of us and Mr.Q is like I will give you the envelop you go to the ladies and take your cut and you bring back my cut, then I think for a minute and tell him no you to go to the gents and he responds by saying that the gents are not so private then I recall the urinal kind of things and I tell that’s fine bring the envelop.
Mr.Q in his uneasiness starts asking questions, first he asks how much I have and am like am not sure maybe 1000 why? He says just to be sure I don’t mix the money then he starts giving conditions things like please don’t call any one and betray me or run away with the money and I begin to get really impatient since am running late and this deal should be as good as over!

Thoughts start criss crossing my head and I ask myself how comfortable would I be spending someone else's hard earned money? Haven’t I done my monthly budget which if am disciplined enough it will last me till end month? Does manna from heaven fall just like that in this day and age? I have just come from reading about the oil tanker explosion and those who met their tragic and painful death in what seemed like an opportunity not to be missed, a struck it rich moment gone terribly bad!

Mr.Q asks me to switch off my phone so that he can be sure that I will not call anyone once I go with the envelop to the ladies, am now getting annoyed, impatient and this is beginning to look crappy n shoddy at that point I tell him you don't have to share with me anything....keep the money am fine and I walk away and he goes his way. What would you have done?

So I talk to my friend and he thinks Mr.Q was indeed a conman and I share the story with my family and they are like thank your guardian angels because you would have come here tearing after being swindled your little money and other belongings. Looking back I never suspected him to be a conman - how i forgot my mother's advice of not talking to strangers!!
I left because I thought I wouldn’t be very comfortable spending another man’s sweat and I believe the days of manna falling are long gone and we are only rewarded by the hard work of our hands.
Greed is vice which makes many fall into similar traps and it should curbed by all means. In time of crisis and trivial situations it’s what we believe in and our principles that will help us. For me its another big up to my guardian angels!!

‘Better is little with the fear of the Lord, Than great treasures with trouble’

Thy Daily Prayer

Dear God, I am weak and on my own I cannot make it. I thank you for another morning, another day, another beginning, am honored and blessed to be here today a reminder that I still have work to do.

A lot is happening around me, I am reminded day by day that life is precious and extraordinarily fragile, the evils of our society haunt me but I cling on to the fact that your mercies are new everyday and my guardian angels work round the clock. It’s a new and blessed day a chance to make the world a better place.

Father renew my strength and give me the energy to do what I have planned for today and more so the wisdom to do it well and diligently.

I am grateful for my friends and family fill my heart with love that I may appreciate them with renewed zeal and zest, help me mend broken relationships, make me an instrument of peace and forgive me my inequity's. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not mine all I have is the present.

Fear of the unknown

The river is taking a different twist, the course looks promising but its not what i had imagined. I wonder if i should curve out my own path which am not so sure about or should i flow on and let things take their course.

I feel like a small child who should be on milk being fed on solid food or one who should be crawling being made to run. Maybe its time to leave the comfort zone, take the risk and live life like there is no tomorrow because that's what the still voice inside me is saying.

"The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it." prov 10:22

Kindly

If you dont like the shoe,
Please step aside,
So many shoppers in the mall,
Don't crowd the shop.

See the shopper and the shoe is a sweet romance,
Allow the thrill,
And go home with a perfect fit.

You hate the straps,
The heel's to high,
Kindly,
Step aside,
A shopper is dying to own this pair.

If you want flats,
This is not a flat,
And its no boot,
You wont change the shoe,
Just find what you need.

So step aside,
Someone loves the straps,
Is loving the high heel,
Its the perfect shoe,
A perfect fit.

Don't insult the shoe,
It was just never meant for you.

By Eva Kihara

My Hero

With an athlete body my 102 years old grandfather is one of my heroes the real example of a good life lived and still being lived. I have recently come from visiting him in the village and boy hasn’t he inspired me. Indeed he is the perfect example of the phrase; if you don’t use it you lose it and that’s what has kept him going through the years. He engages his mind every single day of his life and that has made him sharp up to today.

Every morning by 7am or thereabout (always used to wake up after him) he rises and goes to work like he would in his youthful days. His business is his life, he runs a small kiosk by his house where he sells small household stuff, with pen and paper he calculates the cost and returns the correct change to his customer’s. When stock is over he calls someone and orders the goods that he needs. With the little money that he earns he is able to buy foodstuff and other household goods for his wife and dependants yer yer he has two crazy sons who have never grown up.

No one understands better than him that you are what you eat. Breakfast and just the right amount of lunch does it for him for he clearly understands the principle of eating breakfast like a King, lunch like a Prince and supper like a Servant to keep your body in good shape and with only one leg my grandfather is indeed pretty fit. He never whine’s for its foolish to whine over things you cannot change one of his eyes is partially if not totally gone but he has learnt to make maximum use of what he has……. the complete opposite of my grandmother who has both her legs and one ailing eye but cries over it day and night and refuses to do anything citing she cant see and sadly she is growing senile at a fast she simply aint using it!
He cherishes his afternoon nap and rest but above all silence is golden and invaluable to him and when he see’s that those around him are interfering with his peaceful thoughts he chases them away or locks himself up……healing power of meditation.
Never does he forget to give thanks in the mornings and also before he goes to bed but also before each and every meal he takes for he understands the power of prayers.

Sadly he says that he feels like his blood is drying out and he is waiting for the day when the angels will come and take him, well he has already done his thanks giving mass and slaughtered a cow to share with all his descendants (funnily more than once). What I learn from him is that you are as productive and successful as you choose to be so go forth and chase your dreams you only have yourself to blame if you don’t make it.

(am glad to be carrying some of those genes :))

The Year of Fulfillment

Somehow I just feel like this is my year with plenty of good tidings in the store its just aka feeling, an intuition I cant explain and Sunday’s preaching kinda put some flesh on the skeletenous feeling!!!

My Pastor went about explaining the meaning of numbers like so; 1. No. of God,no. of new beginnings 2. No of unity 3. The trinity 4. No. of stability - four seasons, four directions 5. No. of God’s Grace 6. No. of Man, man was created on the sixth day, harmony, balance 7. No. of perfection 8. No. of new beginnings, Jesus was circumcised on the 8th day, cycles and 9. No. of fulfillment,intellectual power, inventiveness, influence over situations and things...due season like pregnancy!! Guess my trees might just start bearing some fruits.

Christmas in Taveta

After a few sucking Christmas’s the 2008 Christmas was indeed an outstanding one. My mum, sister and I travelled to the country side away from all the traffic, the hassle, the limited amenities and the otherwise over complicated lifestyle of the city and had a memorable and easy time with the extended family.

It had been a good six years since I was last there and I loved every minute of it. Children had grown up and many others had been born I had to do fresh introductions as some of them I couldn’t remember and vice versa. Young gals had become mothers and the young men I left had become fathers......and we thought life was fast in the city!!
Amazingly my 105 grandfather is still the provider of his homestead it was awesome to see him run his small business and balance his math at the end of the day……gosh I pray I to have such a sharp hubby :).

Simple things like sharing wonderful meals cooked from the firewood, making tea with milk straight from the cow’s teats, going to the local open air disco with a 30bob entrance fee, eating mangoes straight from the trees, peeing in the bush n others reminded me of what really matters.
While before we could have a small family lunch with my mother and siblings which ended up in total chaos!! This time we shared it with the larger community and learnt that it’s all about accepting each other as we are, respecting each other’s choices and decisions, sharing the little that is available and extending love.

By far its been one of the best I have had as a young woman, well I know I had other nicer ones when I was a small kid though the memories are fading away but in my 20’s this did it for me. Looking forward to more marvelous ones.

"It's not what you take when you live this world behind you, it's what you leave behind when you go....."

After winter comes spring

I don’t think I could ask for a better Christmas gift that this…what I have been waiting for for a very long time is finally here. Indeed His timing is perfect coz there have been lots of deviations along the way some which I couldn’t understand why they were happening but today I finally understand.....Indeed I still have work to do and it’s a high time I did my mission statement and not just any mission statement thee mission statement of my life.

Wow! I have learnt a lot this year and now instead of counting the gifts that I have received and the ones that I am yet to receive this festive season am going out to give and to give with a generous heart.

Wish I could write the nitty gritty but I will save that for my personal journal if at all it exists.

Counting our Blessings

The year is coming to a closure and wow have lots to be grateful of, enuff of the whining planning to do a 50 list of my blessing.....yea your free to join in and do yours so that every other time we feel like its crumbling down we have something to prove the reverse.

1. Good health 2. Family 3. Friends 4. Colleagues 5. Beautiful smile 6. A job that provides bread on the breakfast table 7. Beautiful work environment that allows me to appreciate nature and enjoy fresh air 8. Clothes 9. Sanity 10. Church where i feel at home 11. Peaceful country 12. Shelter 13. Thy assets 14. Flexibility 15. The music that i enjoy 16. Breathe of life 17. Literacy 18. Healing touch 19. Freedom 20. My over 100 yrs old grandpa 21. A good boss 22. My other mentors 23. My guardian angels who work round the clock 24. Thy B's (know what am saying) 25. Jesus Christ for being my father both here on earth and in heaven 26. Nature and its magnificence 27. My very powerful sixth sense 28. All my blog fans

....to be continued

About the Books I Read

Ave been trying to develop a reading habit throughout this year and so far i have tried but i believe i can do better!!
Am on my fourth book this year: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People after reading The One Minute Apology, The Last King of Scotland and Fries with that.

I am at the level where Stephen Covey highlights the 7 habits as;
1.Be Proactive
2.Begin with the End in Mind
3.Put First Things First
4.Think Win/Win
5.Seek First to Understand...Then to be Understood
6.Synergize
7.Renewal

By the time am through with this book am praying that i will be transformed.

The Marathon Experience

Saturday night (25th Oct) and I cant sleep quite well because of the Nairobi Standard Marathon, anxiety and butterflies are driving me nuts considering its the first time am taking part in any race and I have just made running my kind of thing the last 3 weeks.
5.15 the cab driver picks me up and by 5.55 we are leaving work with my colleagues, enough stop over’s as we pick more colleagues along the way and by 6.30 we are at nyayo stadium.

There is already a mammoth crowd at that time and more n more people are still trickling in, I finally meet my gal friend who we are supposed to running together at about 7.30. Some warm up exercises before the race begins in about 15mins and five, four, three, two, one and at 7.50 we are flagged off.
It becomes crazy to run the first few meters because of the lots and lots and lots of people along the way but the gals are determined to set the pace and go ahead of the crowd where they can run in peace, Hardly had I run for 5mins than I got a stitch but I wasn't going to let it get in the way... endurance is the name of the game. I stick to my pace and by the time we get to the railway club turning our pace begins to differ, my stitch is gone and no water for me at that point. I leave my running mate behind as am determined to stick to my pace all the way.

30mins down and I estimate that I have covered about 5kms.. I can feel the strain of the race but I tell myself am not here to have fun n walk along the way A RACE IS A RACE and I have to run and finish in style. Am past uhuru highway round about its time to go uphill and back to the stadium I meet people walking along the way but I resist that temptation knowing that my legs will feel heavier once I drop my momentum. I can now see the finish line and with my last energy I run to the finish line in 1hr10mins I have comfortably done the 10km race.

No medal for us but just a certificate and quite some energy left, I purpose not to miss this kind of race and again. God willing I will be back next year to do the 21km race.

The Vicious Cycle

Off late I have been listening to Rev someone Njenga on hope fm on Sunday’s evening from 9pm or there about it has become one my favourite shows not only because he sounds good on air but also the insight and wisdom with which his short preaching have. On one of the past Sundays he was talking about the dark past that we all carry and bear. The past that keeps haunting us in one way or another, things we did we wished we never did perhaps we used to suffer from some form of addiction, or we used to be thieves, or had a very mean character or we were gifted with a lying tongue or it might be immorality and many other things that we’ve done through our journey in life that we wouldn’t dare mention.

Its easier to try and pretend to have gotten over some of these things but in truth most of us are haunted for years and years and years and its only the blood of Jesus that can heal us, only through total surrender to Christ can we able to move on with a clear conscience. To all us who keeps saying this is the last time am doing this and tomorrow we go back and do the same mistake and to those of us who have secrets that we wish to carry with us to the grave there is hope!! And that’s why His mercies are new every morning.

Iff we could be practicing what we hear and what we know to be right then things would be much more simpler but again who said it was meant to be easy.